How an Intervention Healed Broken Relationships and Helped Re-Build  Positively 

A Lesson in How to Get Back to Who You Used to Be or to Who You Want to Be 

Learning Resources From School of WorkLife. Resources to help you self-direct your WorkLife learning.
Resources to help you self-direct your WorkLife learning

Are there any times in your Worklife when you’ve become someone you’re not? 

Maybe you’ve done things that went against your beliefs and values, or you behaved in ways that were completely out of character for you.

Getting Back To Who I Used To Be … are people’s stories of when they no longer recognised themselves, or when didn’t like who they’d become. Stories of people who had lost their sense of identity, because they’d strayed so far from the person they used to be, and were struggling to get back to the person they wanted to be.

You’ve made a lot of mistakes, and because of that your position on the board is no longer tenable … Lori felt terrible betrayal, and was enraged hearing these words.

But let’s back up a little to Lori’s Story: A Getting Back To Who I Used To Be Case Study:

Lori, a university drop-out, founded her company, A-Z Vital Health, at age 19, and captivated investors and the public with her invention: a reasonably priced technology facilitating point-of-care testing that could detect a range of diseases. Her ability to pitch her product and her ideas, together with her charismatic presence, brought her instant success. She quickly rose to celebrity-like status, and was invited as an A-List guest and key note speaker to leading industry conferences and events.

Her fall was equally dramatic, as she walked into her office that Monday morning to find Jenny (the President of the company) and Julian (the Chairman of the Board) sitting in the room, together with Meg, another VP, and Julia, a Director of the Board. They were sitting there waiting to have an intervention with her, which led to those soul-destroying words: You’ve made a lot of mistakes, and because of that your position is no longer tenable. Lori felt terrible betrayal, and was enraged hearing those words; and it didn’t stop there, a lot of her power was taken from her too.

People had tried to talk to her, but nothing they’d tried to tell her had gotten through to her, and so they had no choice but to go over her head and basically engineer a power scoop.

But she had to stay in the company. It was her company, and she couldn’t walk away. She couldn’t walk away because she had brought in all the employees, all the investors, It was her vision. So, everyday she had to go work with people who she thought had betrayed her. 

The pain was so unbearable there were times when she could barely breathe, and that forced her to begin to ask the questions, much more deeply:

  • What the hell is going on inside of me? 
  • Why am I suffering so much? 
  • How can I numb the pain a little bit? 
  • And more importantly, what the hell happened to me, how did I go from somebody who everybody loved and was drawn to, the visionary that I was, to this horrible leader that no-one wants to work with?

Through self-feedback, the answer to these questions allowed her to realise that under stress she had shifted from a positive, enabling visionary that had attracted all these people to  a horrific, negative, micromanaging, controlling leader that people could not bear working with anymore. She needed to find a way to shift back, to get back to who she used to be. 

SAGE WISDOM

Lori reached out to Jenny, who as well as being the president of the company, was also a friend from school – a friend who Lori had always thought of as being wise beyond her years. Jenny had a completely different read to Lori on the situation. She was able to see the truth of what had happened. She was able to see that Lori was on the edge, and she enabled Lori to see that together with Julian, Meg and Julia, she was fighting for Lori’s vision. They were her friends and they were fighting to save her vision, to save it from Lori herself, who because she was on the edge, was destroying her own vision. They hadn’t betrayed her, they were doing this because they believed in her. They forced the matter because this was the only way Lori could step back, to take the time to recover, in order to get back to the great person she used to be.

BOOK WISDOM 

The book Lori reached for, to help her figure out how to get herself back to who she used to be was: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. A book she’d read when she had been contemplating dropping out of university, it had helped her then to understand what was going on within herself. It was a book that had a very special place in her heart.

This is the learning and wisdom Lori gleaned:

  • The world’s greatest lie: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control over what is happening to us, and our lives become controlled by faith;
  • She had to choose between thinking of herself as the poor victim or as an adventurer in the quest for her treasure; 
  • That disaster will teach her to understand not to fear the unknown because she’s capable of achieving what she needs and wants.

Epilogue

Lori came to know that she needed this wake-up call, and she came to realise that the intervention by Jenny, Julian, Meg and Julian was a gift in saving her life. She was able to heal those relationships, as well as the other relationships she had damaged and broken. Rebuilding positive relationships was the integral part of the process in helping her to get back to who she used to be.

WORDS OF WISDOM

Sometimes we have to lose things before we appreciate them.

Today’s featured book is: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

This story has been adapted from The School of WorkLife book How To Live True To Who You Really Are. I developed it further into The Case of Getting Back to Who I Used to Be for The Learn Through Reading Series of Case Studies.

WorkLife Book Wisdom Stories:

The intention of the stories I share is to inspire you through people’s stories of their WorkLife experiences. Through these stories, you will learn about people’s dreams and ambitions, along with the challenges, obstacles, failures and successes they encountered along the road of their WorkLife journey. And how they used the power of book wisdom to help them find the inspiration and guidance to navigate their path to live their WorkLife with passion, purpose and pride.

My hope is that these book wisdom stories will help you throughout the chapters of your WorkLife Story.

I believe stories are a powerful mechanism for teaching, a powerful medium to learn through, and a powerful way to communicate who you are and what you stand for.

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POSTSCRIPT

This story was originally published on 19/4/21 I needed to republish it to add updates and also to tell you

… The Continuing Story …

The pandemic brought about a change in my WorkLife from delivering in-person individual coaching sessions and group workshops to creating resources to help people self direct their WorkLife learning.

In the last three years, I’ve published 30 books and over 200 stories.

Each book and each story is based on real life struggles and successes that people have encountered in their WorkLife. They also detail the exercises that helped navigate through these situations, which are set as assignments for readers to adapt to their WorkLife situations and learning needs.

I believe stories are a powerful mechanism for teaching, a powerful medium to learn through, and a powerful way to communicate who you are and what you stand for.

My inspiration for creating my work comes from a lifelong passion for learning. My work has taught me that the one thing in life that can never be taken away from you is your learning. 

School of WorkLife Guiding Statement: To create resources that are helpful, insightful and inspiring in helping people to pursue their WorkLives with greater clarity, purpose, passion and pride by creating continuous WorkLife learning programmes and resources that are accessible to everyone.

The resources I create will help you take ownership of self directing your learning in your own space and in your own time.

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School of WorkLife helps you self-direct your WorkLife learning through resources that have been created to help you to take ownership of your learning in your own space and in your own time. 

What is Self Directed Learning? 

Self-Directed Learning is when an individual is motivated to take the initiative and responsibility on decisions related to their own learning. It is a series of independent actions and judgements free from external control and constraint. 

Resources to Help You Self-Direct Your Learning 

You may find the books below from The School of WorkLife Book Series helpful in meeting your learning needs as a self directed learner. Tap the book title to see a preview of what’s inside each book.

How To Get To Self-Realisation and Self-Acceptance  

How To Apologise With Humility, Sincerity and Integrity 

How To Motivate Through Self-Respect and Trust 

Tap The School of WorkLife Book Series to view the complete collection of books. From here, you can tap on each individual title to see a preview of what’s inside each book.

Carmel O’ Reilly is a learning practitioner and writer. She creates resources to help people self-direct their WorkLife learning
Carmel O’ Reilly is a learning practitioner and writer. She creates resources to help people self-direct their WorkLife learning

Founder of School of WorkLife, Carmel O’ Reilly is a learning practitioner and writer. She creates resources to help people self-direct their WorkLife learning.  These include a Collection of Books which originated from her first book, Your WorkLife Your Way and a  Learn Through Reading Series of Case Studies.  which originated from her latest book WorkLife Book Club. 

That’s the power of writing (and reading, which is an integral part of the craft for writers). It helps you find, develop and tell the right story at the right time in all WorkLife situations – in day-to-day communication: WorkLife and feedback conversations, presentations, talks, and negotiations, at interviews, and when socialising and networking in building and maintaining good relationships. The practice of writing helps you to tell the stories that express who you are in an interesting and engaging way.

Published by Carmel O' Reilly

Carmel O’ Reilly: WorkLife Learning Practitioner & Writer Author of WorkLife Book Club, Your WorkLife Your Way and The School of WorkLife book series. Created to help you manage your WorkLife Learning. Blogger & Podcaster: Telling people’s powerful stories about WorkLife challenges & successes Founder of www.schoolofworklife.com My guiding statement is to help people pursue their WorkLives with greater clarity, passion, purpose and pride by creating continuous WorkLife learning programmes that are accessible to everyone.